In case u were wondering what my little abbreviations in the title meant, here is the 411! Lol NSV stands for non scale victory which in short means a weight loss achievement NOT measured by a scale. For example, fitting in a movie theater seat, wearing a shirt that used to be too tight but is now big, going up steps without gasping for air, and you get the point. These are things u may realize, see, and feel before that evil little scale budges!
My NSV, one of them anyways, occurred last night. From 9pm on I always used to grab my Ben and Jerry’s, or popcorn, or pizza, or whatever and sit in front of the tv until bedtime snacking away. That was one of my many many bad health habits. Just because I am losing weight doesn’t mean that the 300+ pound girl isn’t still inside me. I still have to struggle with those old nasty habits while converting to my new lifestyle. Kind of like converting an old school to trendy loft apartments, it takes time. Lol but I digress! Anywho, I am away from home as some may know from my blog page on Facebook and my newer fitness routine has been interrupted and altered to suit travel needs. I’m staying at my grandma’s and a) I’m not as busy here. More free time means idle minds to think about snacking and b) there is a lot of tempting junk food here. (Come on, u know how “grandma’s house” is! Well last night I was bored and watching tv. I was making myself my last meal of the day and on the counter was a delicious box of devilish imitation twinkies! I REALLY wanted one! And a couple days before that I caved and had one and it was yummy! The foodaholic in me was awakened and I wanted more! I felt and feel ashamed of my weak behavior for even having one but nobody is perfect. There will be slip ups from time to time but recognizing them and holding yourself accountable reduce occurrence which brings me to my next point.
I religiously track everything in fitness pal. If it’s not in there I google the info and enter it myself. Well low and behold bingles, the generic twinks, were in there forever scarring my food and exercise diary that day. At first that didn’t bother me tho, and I cooly and calculatedly snuck that bingle in my pocket to sneak eat later somewhere!!!! What was I thinking?!?!
I sat down and ate my dinner. I could feel the bulge of the cream filled cake in its crackly wrapper against my leg. It was calling my name and I wanted to give in so badly! I looked at my mom innocently oblivious in the chair across from me. I felt guilty for hiding that cake. The longer it sat in my pocket the more guilt I felt for actually premeditating a cheat fest! It is one thing if it happens on a spontaneous whim but to PLAN it?! I was low. Back to the days of hiding in my car to devour a whopper, fries, AND chicken fries from Burger King! No wonder I was heading toward 400lbs! I looked at my walk slim DVD just inches away from me on the table and I got up, put that bingle back, and did my DVD! I didn’t snack on that devilish cake! I walked 2 miles and took a shower.
I was so proud of myself!!!! I actually put it back! I didn’t eat it and try to rationalize a good reason for doing so! I won!!!!!! This time! I know there will be struggles. But I will just keep looking back to this moment and realize what a strong feat that was!
Now for the NSF. No that doesn’t stand for non sufficient funds, well, it does but not in this case! In this case it stands for non scale foul!!!! Although, too many of these can stand for a big scale misery! Lol today was not a good victorious day. It started off good. I was at the pool, swam a couple laps and was active. But it got late and even though I did excellent fulfilling my protein intake. I went over my calories on fitness pal. And even though the doc technically said to just focus on protein and not so much calories UNLESS u were snacking and grazing for junk all day I still have a goal to not go over and I haven’t yet….until today. I know what ur thinking. “Gee, maizey, why end on this negative note?!” Well, I am not! I recorded everything even from my most difficult days. And tomorrow I will be back in the saddle! I’m going to swim and work out and make sure that I keep under my calorie goal! I am going to make everyday a non scale victorious future!!!! let’s face it, if the scale notices too I won’t complain! wish me luck everyone!!! Thank u so much for following my journey and I hope I can inspire one of yours!